Family Curse
I've decided that I have a family curse. If you've read my families blog then you would see that at least one of them is telling you how they are in a funk. Depressed, down in the dumps, bummed, however you would like to call it. We ALL get this way I know but it seems like as soon as my mom is getting out of her mood, then I go into one, or vice versa. I, obviously the only reason I would bring this up, am in a "funk" as my mom would and aunt Lu would call it. I was getting treated awful at my place of employment, which I am aware that everyone usually does get treated that way, but I was being accused of things that were not true, and could have been serious, had they wanted to try and push the issue...or lie I should say. So because I am not working, I am having a lot of trouble in getting my bills paid for. Yes, for those of you who are wondering...if anymore besides Lu reads my blog, I am trying to get a job. I think I have called every place of employment in the state of Tennessee. My boyfriend and I have been fighting more then usual....probably because I have been more stressed then normal. I mentioned before that he has a daughter, she's four. And I keep her and another little girl during the day, until I can find a fulltime job. He and I were talking and he informed me that he thinks I am to hard on Sandra. He calls me Drill Sargent Heather. I really don't think that I am to hard on her, I just think that I was raised differently then he was and we have two completely different ways of raising children. His being the more, babying and giving in and treating her like she is 24 instead of 4. Mine being that I am the adult, and if I say or ask her to do something, then I expect that to be done. When my sister and I were youner, we knew we had to obey our parents, and that is what I expect of her, but its hard to get her to do anything when her daddy, is telling her she can do what I just told her she can't. Yes, I know... Relationships are always harder when children are involved. Another thing that adds to my funk, is I miss my family. I miss my mamaw and papaw, my aunt Lu, all the little Kidlets (I stole your word Louie). They live 2 hours away from me and I never see them. I miss my mom and dad, and Holly (my sister) and they only live 30 mins away. I miss my friends. After graduation all my friends left me...I stayed in touch with one of them, but even she has her own life and boyfriend, and no time for me. I was told growing up they I needed to stay little as long as possible, because growing up basically stinks. And boy does it ever. I hate worrying about bills, whether we're gonna have money for food for the next week. I want so badly to go home and not have anything to worry about, but I also want so badly to be with Steven, and be on my own. My life consist of being a housewife and nanny and I'm not even married. I cook, clean, wash clothes, and when I worked I worked to pay the bills, we had no extra money so all of my hard work went to bills. No I am NOT looking for sympathy so please do not take this as me being a spoiled little brat who just wants everyone to respond to this blog telling me how sorry they are for me. I'm just venting...I try to vent to friends and family but some of them I know are sick of hearing me vent about the same things. Thanks for putting up with me going on and on...about things I am not the only one going through, and who compared to others, have it made. |
~About Me~ About Me
I am 20 years old. I live with the love of my life, Steven and his Daughter. I was just recently engaged on Christmas, and am looking forward to getting married on September 16,2006. ~Blogroll~ ~Previous~ ~Archives~ July 2005September 2005October 2005January 2006February 2006 ~LinkS~ |
2 Comments:
I love you Heather!!! hang in there kiddo...
i was going to say, "heather come on home..." but after reading your first post, i don't want you to think that i'm not happy for you. i will always be proud of you no matter what you do or choices you make....i really want you to know that i am here for you as long as i am living and you'll always have a warm bed waiting for you when you need it....
much love - sweet baby girl
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