<Marti's Shadow>

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Reply's about Steven...

So I was reading the comments that people posted on my "Men" post...I was told to ask myself, do I want to spend the rest of my life like this....and I was told that if I don't trust Steven, to get out now while I still can. Do I want to spend the rest of my life like this? No....I don't want to fight all of the time over little things, I don't want to get jealous everytime the names Joeline and Debra are mentioned. But I do want to spend the rest of my life with Steven. I love him...simple as that. I love him with everything that I have, and I know that Steven loves me as well. I'm scared to sit here and say the things that I want to say, and its because everytime I say how I truly feel, someone tells me that I've convinced myself of something that isnt true, or I'm "deaf, dumb and stupid".....I know that people only tell me things to help me, or because they are worried about me, and I appreciate everyone who does...But Steven is not a bad person....He's a wonderful boyfriend, a great father, and just an all around good person. Yes, we get into our little arguments...but what couple doesn't? My best friend Lauren was talking to me the other day...Sunday the night Steven and I had our big argument, and she kept telling me "Heather, this isn't you" I just looked at her and she said "you are 19...you should be thinking about what you're wearing to the party this Friday night, not what Sandra is wearing to school the next morning." She continued to tell me that She knows I love Steven but she told me I don't know how many times that I'm not happy with Steven. But she is wrong....I am very happy with Steven, I am where I am suppose to be...I love Sandra and Steven both. I want to be taking care of them, making dinner, making sure Sandra gets to school, making sure everyone has clean clothes, etc. If Steven asked me today if I would marry him I would not hesitate for 2 secs to say yes. I love this man, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him no doubt about it. I have worked so hard to get everyone to like him....I've tried to get my mom to accept him and like him, my dad and sister...my grandparents and uncle...but the only one who has liked him and given him a chance was LuAnn. She's met him before, and when they did she was nice to him and then afterwards she told me that he seemed like a good person and she liked him. My mom?....hahahahahahha yeah right, the day I come home and tell my mom that Steven and I are engaged she'll have a nervous break down. Mom likes him as a person...but as my boyfriend or her future son-in-law, that will never happen. My dad likes Steven, and Holly does too...But it took me a while to convince them that he wasn't a 27 year old pervert taking advantage of a 19 year old young woman. My grandparents and uncle? The day they like him is the day that hell freezes over. My grandpa tells me everytime I talk to him that I need to leave him, and my uncle threatens to come down here and kick his butt...yes my papaw and uncle are the two biggest rednecks in Tennessee, but I still love them. LuAnn told me once that nobody will ever be good enough for me according to those two. Phillip wasn't good enough for her, Tony wasn't good enough for Vickie, My Dad wasn't good enough for my mom and Dana wasn't good enough for Josh. But you know what? Steven is good enough for me....in fact he's probably the best person out there for me....know why? He is JUST LIKE MY DAD! Whether my mom wants to admit that or not...Steven is my dad's clone. I told my mom once that I wanted to find someone exactly like my dad. Someone to love me the way he loves her, and someone to treat my kids the way my dad has treated me and my sister...and Steven does that. He loves me, and he loves Sandra. So to all of you who are going to tell me to leave Steven and that I should not be with him, Don't waste your time. (NO, I am not talking to Seshat or Lu...thank you for your advice, it did help me see what I needed to see) I don't mean that to be rude...I just don't want to hear another person tell me that they don't think Steven is good enough for me, or they don't think that I will ever amount to anything while being with him, or that he's preventing me from things in life....because the things that I want in life, I have. And that is to be happy and to be loved and I am both. My favorite quote is something that I heard off of a movie..... Moulin Rouge....however you spell it ..."The greates thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return." I am learning that everyday, and its an amazing feeling......Sorry mom, but I love him..and To anyone else who I have disappointed by saying everything I just have, I have found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with...Hopefully I will follow in my parents foot steps and one day I will say that I have just spent 20 years with my husband and I am looking forward to spending another 20 years with him.

Posted By Marti's Shadow @ 05:15 on Tuesday

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