Posted By Marti's Shadow @ 14:13 on Friday
Comments... 2
HELP ME!
Okay, I know that I've alredy posted today...but who says you can't post more then once? I need help! I've talked to mom about this before but I still am having trouble. Maybe someone can help me. As of right now I don't have a job, and I stay at home with Sandra and usually another little girl during the day. Sandra is an adorable little girl...at times. She has her moments. I've said before that she doesn't exactly listen to me very well and she does what I say when she wants to. Now, Steven says its because I'm to hard on her and she doesn't want to do what I say because I'm always telling her to do something, or I'm always getting on to her. But I think its because she's use to getting her way and shes seeing if she can with me....but I'm to much like my wonderful mother to let her do that. Steven says that she shouldn't have to clean her room all the time. But I think she should clean her room everynight before she goes to bed....maybe I shouldn't make her do that, but oh well. If you don't already know, shes 4. I don't look for things to get on to her about, as Steven says. For example...I watched this show on tv. Steven and I both watched it, Super Nanny. Anyone seen it? Anyway, she suggested that you take toys away for bad behavior. So we tried that. If she said no, or wouldn't do something she was asked to do, she got a toy or something taken away. That went on until she literally had 10 toys to play with. After it got to where she would say "I don't want to clean my room, I'm going to bring you a toy to take away" thats when we said okay super nanny its not working. She still hasn't gotten all of her toys back, but she has gotten some. During the day when I have her, I try to do different things, to see what works with her. So far taking away toys, standing in the corner, spaking, not going swimming, and no tv has NOT worked. I'm running out of things to do. Now, my mom asked me this so I'll let you know. Its not little things she gets punished for, its coloring on the walls with her crayons, throwing the cat down the stairs, hitting the other little girl I watch, playing in the cat litter, etc. Things that she should be punished for. We no longer buy sweet food at the store because she gets into it. She'll wake up go into the kitchen and eat anything sweet she can find. She was getting pretty good at it. Putting it in a pocketbook, sneaking it up to her room is pretty smart for a 4 year old. I really don't know what to do. She use to have a tv and vcr in her room, but she doesn't anymore...one night it was about 11:00 and Sandra had been up in her room crying hollering I'm not tired I don't want to go to bed since 8:30. Thats her bed time, and usually shes in bed everynight at that time. Steven and I were watching tv and we heard her door open and shut. We thought she might have went to the bathroom so neither one of us did anything. The second time I heard it, I walked up stairs checked the bathroom, because one of her bad habbits is not flushing the toliet, so I checked to see if she had gone to the bathroom, she had not. I opened her door, and shes sitting about 3 in. away from the tv with the volume turned down to #4. I called Steven up there, he asked her why she kept opening the door and she said to see if you or Heather were coming. The tv came out of her room the next day. I've ran out of ideas. Today she got mad at me because I made her stop using the toliet for a swimming pool for her dolls. Luckily the toliet had been flushed. Then she was in the kitchen playing with Lex, our kitten. Lex comes walking in the living room and Sandra is still in the kitchen being very quiet. So I walk in there and she is sitting in the floor with 3 sharp knives playing. I screamed SANDRA!! What are you doing???? She replys "Playing like I am cooking." So I had to take the knives away and make her go up to her room. Now, today I told her that if she was good she would get the toys back that I took away for her not cleaning her room. (Mom suggested I take a trash bag put everything in it that was not where it was suppose to go...and that would hopefully get her to clean her room...it worked for a day) So she was good most of the day, did what I asked and was the sweet little Sandra that she can be. So about 3:00 I let her have the toys back. She took them up to her room, then I called her down and asked her if she wanted some pudding. So she ate that...after she got the toys and the pudding thats when she played in the toliet and with the knives. Shes pretty smart.....So PLEASE OH PLEASE help me out here.....any ideas, suggestions, anything would be very helpful! I know mom is probably laughing as she reads this, because she always said that sooner or later it would come back to me and I would be the one with the child disobeying me, and asking her for help like she asked my mamaw.. so stop laughing mom, its NOT funny! Lets go check on the rugrat and see what she's into now.
My Mother....
All of you who read my blog, also read my mothers. So you all know that she obviously drink. I HATE alocohol! I can't stand the smell, taste, name....etc. I have always hated the fact that my mom drinks. We use to get in arguments about it when I still lived at home. But the arguments were pretty much the same everytime...
Heather- Mom, why do you drink?
Mom- Because I like to...
Heather- Don't do it around me, I hate it and its nasty.
Mom- I am an adult I can do whatever I like.
END OF ARGUMENT
Mom use to buy Zimas I think thats what they are called. Now I do understand that you would have to drink like 50 of these to actually get drunk. But the point is, it is alcohol and I hate it. I don't think my mom is a bad person, but I just can't stand the stuff....My sister (shes 15) makes fun of me, and doesn't understand why I get so upset about it. But oh well...
Lu, Lex is okay. Now that we owe the vet. 100.00 dollars..but he is okay. He's back to the little Demon that he is. He's a snuggle bug, and a sweetie, WHEN HE'S SLEEPING! When he's awake....beware he knows how to use his claws.
No luck on finding a job yet. Mom told me to go and apply at Hotels....I've called around most are only hiring for Housekeeping...Should I apply? I really need a job.....advice anyone?
Poor Little Kitty, and Stupid Me!!!
Well, today hasn't been the best day and its only 2 p.m Holly stayed the night with me lastnight, so we didn't go to bed until 4 a.m This morning at 9:00 Sandra came into my room and said, "Heather, daddy needs you to come there!" So I crawl out of bed and walk downstairs to see what he needed. He's laying on the couch holding our kitten and he looks at me and says, "I'm getting worried." I looked at him and noticed that Lex was shaking really bad. About a week ago I discovered that we a dreaded case of Fleas. I HATE fleas, they make you itch. So I've been trying to get rid of the little itchy insects for a week now. Its a little harder then just any case of fleas because we have three animals. Molly, who is a little bitty dog. I rescued her, she had been dropped off and abandoned and was starving to death, and I brought her home. I'm not what kind of dog she is, but she looks like a Chihuahua and Jack Russell mix. Shes sooo cute. Then theres Tinkers. I got him two years ago for my birthday. He's not a "people cat." He pretty much lays around daring anyone to touch him. He comes to you when he wants to be touched. He's bigger than Molly, but Tinkers is a big cat. He's not normal ....but hes my buddy. Then theres Lex...formally known as Lexy. I just found out today that shes a he....don't ask, I know I shouldnt admit that. But what can I say we arent pet experts here. Anyway, after I put the flea medicine on them lastnight, I took a shower then went to bed. When I got out of the shower, Molly and Lex were playing like normal and Tinkers was laying there watching them. So I thought they were all fine. But this morning, Lex wasn't fine. I looked at the package that the medicine came in and realized I had grabbed the wrong one, and I had bought the medicine that is for animals 10 lbs or more. Lex is only 3 lbs 15 oz. Thanks to the doctor I found that out today. So I ran upstairs and did what the package says to do if the animal is having muscle tremors. I washed him off and tried to rub him. While I was doing that, Steven was calling the Vet. The nurse told us to bring him in immediatley. We get there, and the doctor was waiting for us and took Lex to the back. He had the nurse give him another bath and use their special soap. He then came in and talked with Steven and I. He told us that had we not brought him in, he wouldn't have made it through the rest of the day. They injected fluids between his shoulder blades, under the skin. They said they wanted him to stay there and make sure everything was okay. So as of right now I'm not sure how his doing. Now I know its just a cat, and people probably think I am crazy and pathetic for crying over it, but he's my buddy. Molly suggles with Steven and follows him everywhere he goes. Tinkers doesn't snuggle with anyone, he could care less. And then Lex, is with me ALL the time. Everywhere I go, hes right behind me. So hopefully my little snuggle bug will be joining me again tonight. Steven is suppose to pick him up on the way home. If anyone cares, I'll let ya know how my little Lex turns out.
Weird Dream!
Well first, THANKS LU! She made my blog really cool for me :)
Second, lastnight I had this REALLY weird dream. It starts off where I am sitting in this huge room talking to a bunch of people, then I realized we were all in war, and we were waiting for a call to go out and fight. Just sitting there waiting. But it wasn't like an actual war, I mean we were fighting but it was nothing close to being realistic. We were fighting with these plastic tubes that were kinda like dynamite, and thats all we had. We'll while we're still sitting in that huge room, waiting to see what happens, and I see Steven sitting across the room talking to some people. I know I can't go up to him, or even let people know that he is my boyfriend, and the reason being for some unknown reason in my dream Steven was Morman, and I was not. His religion didn't agree with him dating other people who were not Morman. So we had to keep our relationship a secret. I walk by him and he looks at me and smiles, then I turn so that I'm looking forwards instead of at him, and he calls out my name. I turn to see why he called for me, so I had stopped walking. He looked at me, and I could tell what he wanted to say, but he couldn't say it. So I smiled back at him and then turned around and walked off. Later on I was sitting at a table talking to two other girls, and one of Steven's friend Michael. Steven walks up and says "hey guys!" and I look at him and mouth "I have to talk to you..." he looked at me like he was a little nervous. We couldn't walk off together, so I knew I had to tell him right then. He looked at me, and without me saying anything his eyes got wide, then he said really? I smiled and said yes, but my smile soon left me, because I knew that this either meant two things. One, Steven would have to tell everyone that he was with me, and he would no longer be excepted with the Mormans, or two he wouldnt do anything things would stay like they were, and I would be raising a child on my own. Yes, the thing I had to tell him was that I was pregnant. He smiled at me, and said don't worry. How the other people around us, didn't catch on, I'm not sure, but they didn't. Then the dream flashed to where we were actually fighting in the war. It lasted for a while and then finally ended. After the war was over, Steven told everyone about us. I was outside with a girl that was in the war, but also a girl I actually went to school with. We were throwing flower petals because we had won and everyone was celebrating, but I stopped and said sorry I have to go find Steven. Then Meagan said "looks like he already found you!" I turned and there was Steven running up toward me. I started running towards him and it was really cheesy because it was in slow motion. Anyway I jumped into his arms and we hugged and kissed each other. Then he looked at me and said that he had told everyone, but all they said was that our relationship would end and he would no longer see me. (This is where it gets really weird) Steven marrys another woman, obviously Morman. I'm riding in the car with them, on the way for them to go to their house. It was the day of the their wedding and this was the first time they were to see the house. Steven was doing things on the way there to make the girl not like him. For some reason it was like it was in the past, because all Steven had to do was get the girl to say "I made a mistake, or I don't want to marry you" or something like that, and the wedding would be like it had never happened. So she finally said it, and I was relieved but couldn't act on it. Then the dream flashed fowards and I'm driving in my car, text messaging Steven, and we're sitting there talking about how much we want to be together, and not have to hide it. Then I woke up. So I am assuming that even after the girl not wanting to marry him, the other people still wouldnt let him be with me. Weird huh? I thought so...
Anyway, Its 11:15 and I need to start getting ready. I'm going out to look for a job today. Holly (my sister) spent the night, so that she could help me watch the kids today while I go out and job search. Wish me luck!
My Best Friend
I didn't write yesterday, so I will make up for that...yesterday was Preston's (Steven's best friend) Birthday. So Preston and his family came over to our apartment and we made a cake and all that good stuff. It was fun I guess, but I get aggravated. They have two boys, Hunter who is 6 and Tanner who is 4. They are "rough" boys, I guess I should say. So after an hour I was ready for them to go. Is that mean?
So I realized as I was reading my first post, that I made it seem as if I was mad at my mother or something. And I am not mad at her in any way. I also realized that it sounded as if we weren't friends anymore. My mom is and will always be my best friend. She is the person I admire and want to be when "I grow up." I love my mom with all that I am. She is who I think of when I have something exciting to tell. When I'm scared, I want my mom to be there to hold me, and make everything okay. My mom is an amazing woman. She is a great woman, she loves me and my sister, with all of her heart. She would do anything that she could for us. She loves my dad with a love that I have never seen before. I want a relationship like my parents have. I have always said that I want someone to love as much as my mom loves my dad. I look forward to having my mom with me throughout the things that I will go through in live. Getting married, having children...watching my children grow. I call my mom now for advice on Sandra and what to do. I call her so that she can tell me how to cook a meal...shes my best friend. Everyone needs a relationship like we have. In school mom, would go on band trips with me, and all the other kids called her mom, they all told me how my mom was cool, and how they wished their mom was like that. Which they weren't telling me anything I did't already know. I know she's the greatest. I love you momma so very much!
Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine
Little one when you play
Don't you mind what you say
Let those eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine
If they knew sweet little you
They'd end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give just for
The right to hold you
From your head to your toes
You're not much, goodness knows
But you're so precious to me
Cute as can be, baby of mine
My mom use to sing that song to me....Its Baby Mine from Dumbo.
Family Curse
I've decided that I have a family curse. If you've read my families blog then you would see that at least one of them is telling you how they are in a funk. Depressed, down in the dumps, bummed, however you would like to call it. We ALL get this way I know but it seems like as soon as my mom is getting out of her mood, then I go into one, or vice versa.
I, obviously the only reason I would bring this up, am in a "funk" as my mom would and aunt Lu would call it. I was getting treated awful at my place of employment, which I am aware that everyone usually does get treated that way, but I was being accused of things that were not true, and could have been serious, had they wanted to try and push the issue...or lie I should say. So because I am not working, I am having a lot of trouble in getting my bills paid for. Yes, for those of you who are wondering...if anymore besides Lu reads my blog, I am trying to get a job. I think I have called every place of employment in the state of Tennessee.
My boyfriend and I have been fighting more then usual....probably because I have been more stressed then normal. I mentioned before that he has a daughter, she's four. And I keep her and another little girl during the day, until I can find a fulltime job. He and I were talking and he informed me that he thinks I am to hard on Sandra. He calls me Drill Sargent Heather. I really don't think that I am to hard on her, I just think that I was raised differently then he was and we have two completely different ways of raising children. His being the more, babying and giving in and treating her like she is 24 instead of 4. Mine being that I am the adult, and if I say or ask her to do something, then I expect that to be done. When my sister and I were youner, we knew we had to obey our parents, and that is what I expect of her, but its hard to get her to do anything when her daddy, is telling her she can do what I just told her she can't. Yes, I know... Relationships are always harder when children are involved.
Another thing that adds to my funk, is I miss my family. I miss my mamaw and papaw, my aunt Lu, all the little Kidlets (I stole your word Louie). They live 2 hours away from me and I never see them. I miss my mom and dad, and Holly (my sister) and they only live 30 mins away. I miss my friends. After graduation all my friends left me...I stayed in touch with one of them, but even she has her own life and boyfriend, and no time for me. I was told growing up they I needed to stay little as long as possible, because growing up basically stinks. And boy does it ever. I hate worrying about bills, whether we're gonna have money for food for the next week. I want so badly to go home and not have anything to worry about, but I also want so badly to be with Steven, and be on my own. My life consist of being a housewife and nanny and I'm not even married. I cook, clean, wash clothes, and when I worked I worked to pay the bills, we had no extra money so all of my hard work went to bills. No I am NOT looking for sympathy so please do not take this as me being a spoiled little brat who just wants everyone to respond to this blog telling me how sorry they are for me. I'm just venting...I try to vent to friends and family but some of them I know are sick of hearing me vent about the same things.
Thanks for putting up with me going on and on...about things I am not the only one going through, and who compared to others, have it made.
Marti's Shadow
Well, I've heard that blogging is interesting and fun. At least thats what my mother and two aunts like to think. So I've decided to give it a try. You probably know them... they seem to be pretty popular amoung all the bloggers...Marti, (Robin being my mother) LuAnn and Vickie (obviously my aunts.) If you've read my mother's blog, then you've read about me...I'm the shadow. If you haven't read her blog, let me fill you in. I am 19 years old, and I live with my boyfriend. I've only been moved out now for almost three months. My mother and I before I moved, had an excellent relationship. She, like she said, was my best friend. I hate to think that she isn't my best friend anymore, but things seemed to change when I moved out, which everyone told me they would. For some reason my mother doesn't seem to understand why I love my boyfriend. According to her, she thinks I have fallen in Love for all the wrong reasons...I don't know how loving the man that makes you melt with his touch, makes you smile when he walks into the room...a man that you can sit in the same room with, never say a word and hear him tell you how much he loves you, is the wrong reasons. Steven (my boyfriend) has a daughter, Sandra. Watching him with her, makes me love him as well. He is an amazing father, he has not had an easy life, and to know that he went through what he did, and has turned out the way he has, is great. I know my mom isn't thrilled everytime I mention it, but I really think that I will marry him one day. Not because she doesn't like him, but because I am her baby, and she doesn't want to see me grow up. I miss my mom more than anything, but I love Steven. She is always asking me to come home, but I am happy. Yes, we struggle with bills. Its very hard, but that's the way its suppose to be. She's the one that has always told me that you don't get things handed to you, you have to work for them. So that's what I am doing. I will make it through the struggles, and like always I will come out stronger. I love my mom very much, and I only wish that she didn't think that I'm staying with Steven just to get away from her, because I'm not. I'm doing it because I love him, I'm happy and I am finally getting out on my own...As someone might say, "I am spreading my wings in this great big world, leaving my mother's nest."
~About Me~
About Me
- Name: Marti's Shadow
- Location: Tennessee, United States
I am 20 years old. I live with the love of my life, Steven and his Daughter. I was just recently engaged on Christmas, and am looking forward to getting married on September 16,2006.
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